I've always enjoyed sewing and up until October 2011 I had always done it by hand. I don't know why I avoided sewing machines, but I think I was just scared that it would make things worse or ruin the very limited amount of fabric I had. Anyway, I've broken the seal, I've learned how to use a machine thanks to a very kind friend of my boyfriend(Maxx)'s mom's.
She was mostly self-taught and considered herself lucky that she got a job with a tailor. Since then she's made clothing and costumes for her children and others. She taught me for free. I don't know how I get so lucky to have these people come into my life. Anyway, I wanted to cosplay (costume play for those that aren't familiar with the abbreviation for dressing up as a character from a show or movie) as Princess Bubblegum from Adventure Time for ages and to get the most use out of it, planned on having it finished in time for Halloween. I don't know how I thought I was going to do the dress without a pattern and by hand, but I'm really glad I let my Maxx's mom talk me into meeting her friend.
She not only taught me how to use a machine, but how to use patterns, change the pattern to fit properly, and all kinds of things. She was really the perfect teacher, allowing me to do it myself and make mistakes. More importantly though, she welcomed me into her home and provided me with a quiet place to come and learn to sew. I don't know how many of you have found that peace that comes with doing something you love, but I didn't realize how long it had been since I felt it last until I had to stop sewing. I had lost myself. I had been sewing for four hours and it was spectacular. I was the fabric and the thread and they were me and we were coming together to become something different. Maxx's grandma is giving me her sewing machine to use to make Christmas gifts and I can't tell you how excited I am. It feels good to have this feeling again.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Boxes, A Headache, A Realization
My boyfriend and I moved in to a townhouse this past June. My brother came home from Germany in August and will be rooming with us and I am STILL taking things out of boxes. A girl from Berlin that he met through his program will be our fourth, she's moving in tomorrow. All of this is forcing me to take care of these boxes. Classic Me:
So, I end up with a headache today which I try to sleep off which does not make it better, and still have that room to tackle. Had I taken care of it when we moved in, I could be sleeping. Or actually maybe doing something creative.
In the interest of keeping this short so I can actually accomplish something with that room, and because I think far faster than I type (it doesn't help I self-edit as I write either) I've come to the realization that a lot of what my problem is is that I've been looking at everything the wrong way. Or really, the hard way. Because I look at so many tasks (and especially creative ones I appoint myself) as a battle, I approach them as a battle. There is always a winner and a loser and I frequently stress myself out about things unnecessarily because of the assumed outcome. If I think about her coming as an excuse to spend time on organizing my things, to look at my things, to get around to unpacking those last few boxes, maybe I'll actually get it done. No, I will get it done. Because I've already psyched myself up about what I'm going to find in them. Maybe some old sketches, or maybe nothing. Maybe just the bottoms of some empty boxes. I'll take what I can get.
- I love it. If there is something that requires me to do something, I can do it. I'm completely capable of many things and this unpacking business is as good an example as anything. It's just like the art I would make, as natural as unpacking a box. Yet unless it's required of me, (and sometimes not even then!) I struggle and do everything I can to self-sabotage and not do it or do it last minute and end up crying from the stress and frustration.
- I hate it. My mind literally goes into space-cadet mode because I'm thinking of any possible way to get out of doing whatever it is that I need to do. These boxes have been crammed in that extra room for this reason exactly. Out of sight, out of mind.
So, I end up with a headache today which I try to sleep off which does not make it better, and still have that room to tackle. Had I taken care of it when we moved in, I could be sleeping. Or actually maybe doing something creative.
In the interest of keeping this short so I can actually accomplish something with that room, and because I think far faster than I type (it doesn't help I self-edit as I write either) I've come to the realization that a lot of what my problem is is that I've been looking at everything the wrong way. Or really, the hard way. Because I look at so many tasks (and especially creative ones I appoint myself) as a battle, I approach them as a battle. There is always a winner and a loser and I frequently stress myself out about things unnecessarily because of the assumed outcome. If I think about her coming as an excuse to spend time on organizing my things, to look at my things, to get around to unpacking those last few boxes, maybe I'll actually get it done. No, I will get it done. Because I've already psyched myself up about what I'm going to find in them. Maybe some old sketches, or maybe nothing. Maybe just the bottoms of some empty boxes. I'll take what I can get.
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