- I love it. If there is something that requires me to do something, I can do it. I'm completely capable of many things and this unpacking business is as good an example as anything. It's just like the art I would make, as natural as unpacking a box. Yet unless it's required of me, (and sometimes not even then!) I struggle and do everything I can to self-sabotage and not do it or do it last minute and end up crying from the stress and frustration.
- I hate it. My mind literally goes into space-cadet mode because I'm thinking of any possible way to get out of doing whatever it is that I need to do. These boxes have been crammed in that extra room for this reason exactly. Out of sight, out of mind.
So, I end up with a headache today which I try to sleep off which does not make it better, and still have that room to tackle. Had I taken care of it when we moved in, I could be sleeping. Or actually maybe doing something creative.
In the interest of keeping this short so I can actually accomplish something with that room, and because I think far faster than I type (it doesn't help I self-edit as I write either) I've come to the realization that a lot of what my problem is is that I've been looking at everything the wrong way. Or really, the hard way. Because I look at so many tasks (and especially creative ones I appoint myself) as a battle, I approach them as a battle. There is always a winner and a loser and I frequently stress myself out about things unnecessarily because of the assumed outcome. If I think about her coming as an excuse to spend time on organizing my things, to look at my things, to get around to unpacking those last few boxes, maybe I'll actually get it done. No, I will get it done. Because I've already psyched myself up about what I'm going to find in them. Maybe some old sketches, or maybe nothing. Maybe just the bottoms of some empty boxes. I'll take what I can get.
